A journey into self discovery via lungs on fire and a spare tire that would make the moon seem small. If this visual doesn’t give you a clue on what my first run was like nothing will. I have to say that I have been a slave to excuses dealing with my fitness because I have made promises or half hearted attempts to get into shape to never going all of the way that was until today well this morning at 6:45 in the morning where my eldest brother gave me a call to go out jogging. I been half asleep and always game for anything said sure thinking what is the worse that can happen. It is amazing when people think that to themselves they never truly want the answer because the reality is that the worse thing that can happen is the truth comes and smacks them in the face. Reality is one of those things in which you face the truth about yourself and there is no running from it; needless to say I ran into the unknown fearing what the truth might bring. As bold a newbie wanting to prove one’s metal in battle I grabbed my iPod loaded up the Nike Plus workout songs and went out there to prove to myself that I was not a wimp in the face of a challenge. I began my stretching and I could feel my muscles wondering the heck is this fool doing? Doesn’t he know that he have been long dormant like Mt. Rainier, I pushed on not listening to the warning sounds of doubt. My brother greeted me with a smile and told me that he has done several circuits of the inner field. I can see on his face through the sweat that pushing reality was going to be a hard fight however with me down there he would have company in this fight. Now this part goes like a blur so please bear with me on it, I began to motor myself down that stretch of the track not knowing how the body with react to the fact that mentally I want to jog for my health and the body truly wanted to be in bed and I forced it to face itself. I began to jog … the legs moved like they did in high school nice and fluid the music set a nice tempo for me to follow and I was feeling wonderful that was until all heck broke lose; the alarm bells started sound in my head that my lungs were on fire and the air was getting tight very tight. What the heck was happening to me? I can tell you what was happening to me I ran head long into the face of reality. I was grossly out of shape I could not make it a quarter of a way around the track without my body wanting to freak out. I was totally ashamed of what was happening to me. How could it get this bad, was the thought that ran through my head? That was an easy question for me to answer I made numerous half hearted attempts to get myself into shape and yet all of the time I found myself getting bored with it. Needless to say that I took two rest stops but I was determined to get a mile in no matter the cost. I can say that I will not ever get confused with the great Kenyan marathon runners but I was able to get my mile in through fits and starts, walking, power striding and through just shear pride not allowing me to fail at my goal. I saw that my brother was sitting down after his fits and starts we began to talk and I realize that the weather was absolutely wonderful out the sun had that beautiful dawn glow the birds were chirping and doing what nature tells them to do. I can say that I wanted to do this again (this running thing). I saw the strange beautiful in having your feet hit the ground in a rhythm in a mystical time that only runners can understand. I didn’t get to that place in nirvana where the well seasoned runners go where all of the burdens of the world just fall all away, but I have experience that dark place where Paula Radcliffe was during the Olympics in Athens where the body just want to quit. From the first time runners prospective I began to learn about myself for the first time, where am I going to go? What am I going to do? Who am I going to become? I have set several goals for myself and I will reveal them in time however this journey to self discovery started with a phone and a smack by reality. I can never say that I wasn’t given the chance to see how great I can become. I know that several things in my life I can not change but I know that no one goes through life without a cross on their shoulders. I am blessed to know that it is not too late to make changes for the better.
21 June 2008, 7:04
Distance: 1.13 miles
Time: 18:36
Pace: 16:20 min / mile
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