Falling Prey To The Hydra

What separates the average bloke from the steely eyed Special Forces operator is not much but it is that little something that can’t be measured. The reason I bring this up is that yesterday I came face to face with disappointment and I could not understand it. Let me start from the beginning I was people much excited to get outside and build upon my success from the day before the workout consisted of five minute walk, a one minute run, followed up by another five minute walk. I figured since the weather outside was sunny I was going to go along with the goodness of the training routine. I went out did my stretches and set my timer on the iPod to eleven minutes and I began my walking I wanted to set a nice little tempo that wasn’t going to burn out the shins too early in the routine. I have noticed how quickly five minutes goes while you are within a rhythm; the feet tapping out time and tune of my FIFA Soundtrack mix keeping me within the nice frame of mind. This is when the meltdown started to happen and I couldn’t figure it out for the life of me. I went to go into a jog to begin a one minute run and I started down the front part of the circuit and my legs were eager to go but that darn lack of stamina raised its ugly head like a hydra and it snatched whatever good feelings I have from the yesterday and flushed them straight down the toilet. How can this be? I was on top of the freakin’ world and to have the crap happen to me was just a nightmare. I tried to keep a pace that wouldn’t have me sucking air like a vacuum cleaner gone crazy, and then something else happened. I began to have a slight pain in my right knee and my gait changed rapidly as if someone shot me in my right leg. I slowed down and I knew my workout was ruined I rolled my eyes in disgust and tried to power walk however the heart was not in it. I saw this as Reality 3, Dan 1. I stared down the back stretch of the circuit and I wanted to challenge myself and I wanted to do a nonstop jog no matter flaming lungs, gimpy knee, or stamina that make a sloth look like a superman to the green pole. I had to see where the heck I with my fitness was truly. Setting off I motored … halfway down the back stretch my lung were begging for relief but I was not going to answer than call. The knee were hollowing like a lonely dog left outside in the rain but I determined to say screw you I have to know what the truth really was; then someone else decided to join the party … my lower back. Needless to say through all of these adversities I was just shy of the pole. I stood before that pole irked to no end. I should have made it; there was no excuse for not making it. I knew I should push myself harder just a couple more strides to cross that line, however I didn’t. For the first time since I began more training to become a fit individual; realized that I didn’t give it my all. I am saying to everyone right now I did not give it my all. It is easy to say your back was hurting you. Your knee was hurting you. You are new at this; it takes time to build up your stamina. Yes those are answers that would be an easy crutch yet I knew deep within the real reason; I just didn’t have it. I ripped the ear buds from my ears and I began to walk home focused on my disappointment. Focused on stopping short of the pole; not pushing myself then more ten more feet to cross that barrier. I saw this as a failure of me not pushing myself to be better. I walk with my head down looking at the concrete and I found myself at the back of my apartment building; I open the door and looked at the stairs. I figured that since I live on the sixth floor of the building and I came in via the sublevel I figured that was seven flights to the apartment. I loaded up a song that I have grown to love (Born to Run by K-OS) and then I took off up those stairs. The main floor came and went then came the first, second, third, and fourth (right now the lactic acid was burning and I didn’t truly care). Deep within me the anger of just falling short drove me further. I gutted out the fifth and sixth on shear will alone. As I opened the door to my apartment I struggled to get my breathing under control and the legs were just shot to heck. I had to tell myself to relax as I went to sit down in the chair. As I sat there the anger began to go away as the steady hum of the air conditioner brought cool air towards me. I reflected upon what just happened as I looked at the iPod which had received the information from the sensor and I was stunned by how fast I tore up the stairs and how the legs recovered more quickly then I thought. I saw that I ran up seven flights of stairs in 53 seconds.
Through the fires of anger and the bitter taste of disappointment, clarity brought its gift of realization. I realized that through the combination of road work and stair work I could get my stamina up to the point where I could be happy with it. To answer the question what if the answer that I asked in the beginning what is the difference between the average bloke and a Special Force operator is that they overcome the challenges before them and look forward to others to come. I know that there will be more days like this however I will always remember and put into practice the Navy SEALs motto that is use during BUDS training … The Only Easy Day Was Yesterday. I never knew what that meant until now.

24 June 2008
Distance: 0.68 miles
Time: 11:09
Pace: 16:12 min / mile